angelicyokai wrote:I like the story you posted giving it about a 3, I'd likely read it if it was around, but wouldn't beat people in the Barnes and Noble to get ahold of it. Militaresque stories don't do much for me, so that could be the lack of enthusiasm. I like your writing style it manages to be intelligent without needing overgrandized vocabulary. I'm a bit put off my the curt dialogue, but again that might be due to the screaming military scene that unfolds.
Of the stories you've listed; I did and do like wastelander and think it has merit, and becoming darkness. The summary of it caught my attention. I am most interested in it of the ones you've listed. I think all of your ideas sound interesting, but are you wanting to write them for your personal enjoyment or to move into professional writing? Because I think some of your plots and character development will be too deep for most sellers to be attracted. Most people read books that lean toward the shallow side of liturature, usually because they are just enjoying the escapsim of fantasy or scifi. while your plots will probably draw in deeper people, it might not pull a lot of profit, which is what a publisher is looking for. Those are just my two bits, hopefully helpful.
Galahad wrote:Wow, I wish I'd seen this thread a long time ago...I love writing, and I think I do moderately well sometimes, but I really suck at coming up with story ideas.
OK, critique, way late so it may be irrelavent: the Wastelander vignette really caught my attention and made me want to know more. Two things: let's hear just a little more about what's going on with Dane early on so we have an emotional context to empathize with in the scene, and your drill intructor sounds too much like a college professor and not enough like a military instructor.
DABDA: 1, the synopsis sounds like the promo for something on the Hallmark Channel, is there something to set it apart?
Buoyancy of the Human Heart: 0, call me broken, but I can't summon up a lot of interest in a multi-volume emotional exploration.
Wastelander series: 3 maybe 4, space opera, however, definately is my cup of tea. With all the elements you listed, I just hope you can keep the story focused.
The Bird and the Silence: 0, I hope you can understand why
Firmament Falling: ?, don't know enough about it, it sounds like an intriguing seed though.
Horizon: 1 or 2, this one, despite its unique racial twist, risks disappearing behind Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, et al.
Becoming Darkness: 2-3, not my favorite genre but the twist of having the hero drag himself into the darkness rather than the tired trope of the surprised innocent dragged unwillingly in...the sub-plot could be Jordan (with or without the help of someone special) having to find a way to put the brakes on his express train to destruction, etc. etc.
System 21: 1, not much interest...maybe with more details
Immortal Man: 2, this idea might fly, if you can establish some good characters on both sides
If any of this sounds too harsh, I apologize. These are all my opinion.
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